(UPDATED FROM 2/22/2014)
Curbside Classic has always been far more willing to make fun of itself than larger media outlets. In doing so, the website has shown (perhaps inadvertently) how the media can be patronizing to auto history buffs.
One of the website’s more elaborate pranks began with Paul Niedermeyer’s (2014) announcement that he had fallen in love with a 1972 Ford LTD that was for sale. He wrote that the very sight of the car triggered strong emotions:
“As I slid across that splendid sofa and positioned myself behind the wheel, I was flooded with other memories of that very long night. It may seem hard to imagine that any memories could leave a deeper impression than one’s first skinny dip with three high school girls while under the influence of hallucinogens, but the driving experience of one of these ‘Total Performance’ Fords was undoubtedly the only one that could, especially in my heightened state.”
Almost all of the commentators appeared to get that this was satire. For example, David42 declared the article an early April Fool’s joke but noted that “we WANT to believe. It just goes to show how strong the lure of the curbside classic is compared to modern metal.”
Perhaps, but something deeper may be at work. A debate broke out in the comment thread about the engine block used in the LTD. The back-and-forth among four commentators offered detailed technical knowledge about the origins and problems with Ford V8s of that era. Nothing wrong with that, but this also illustrates guy talk.
Step back for a moment. Niedermeyer’s ode to the LTD may have been over the top, but it reflected a common reason why guys get interested in old cars in the first place. They trigger memories, particularly of long-lost youth. However, we also tend to avoid talking about feelings. That’s why auto history media largely focus on “hardware” and corporate strategy.
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When feelings are acknowledged they tend to involve sex. This is partly why the following line from Niedermeyer’s post is so hilarious: “I could just barely make out the imprint of that brocade pattern on the back of her soft thigh. Sigh . . . my old eyes would never be able to see that kind of detail nowadays.”
I wonder whether Niedermeyer’s essay would have generated as much reader engagement if he had instead written about how the LTD reminded him of driving a deathly sick family member to the hospital. This is why I give Curbside Classic credit for posting “auto-biographies” that mention real-life issues such as an awkward family trip (Shafer, 2013) and a post-divorce car (Grey, 2013).
How would you have saved the Ambassador?
Another example of Curbside Classic’s mischievous sense of humor was a post by J P Cavanaugh (2014) entitled, “How Would You Have Saved the Ambassador?” He helpfully primed the conversation by presenting two photoshops — the second of which is my nominee for an Automotive History Performance Art Award.
With perfectly pitched photoshopping skills, J P Cavanaugh displayed how a redesigned C-pillar could have kept the Ambassador alive in the second half of the 1970s. Click on the picture below to see his handiwork.
A fairly large number of readers responded, and most offered serious suggestions. This was not the case with Ate Up With Motor, who quipped, “My snarky off-the-cuff response on reading the headline was, ‘Reassign to Brazil?'”
To this Cavanaugh responded: “Possibly the best answer of all.”
Others were not deterred by the snark. The comment thread included additional photoshops, a picture of a customized Matador sedan, and a handful of dissertations about other directions American Motors could have taken.
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Fans of the 1974 Ambassador might consider making fun of the car a low blow, but my sense is that Cavanaugh performed a useful public service by trolling one of the most pathetic spectacles in the auto history media.
At least to some degree, pretty much everyone traffics in “what would have saved ____?” speculations that can have more to do with basking in nostalgia than decent historical analysis.
NOTES:
This story was originally posted on Feb. 22, 2014 and updated on July 20, 2023. In a more recent post I tried my hand at Photoshop to offer an unduly serious analysis of how AMC went astray with the 1974 Ambassador.
Share your reactions to this post with a comment below or a note to the editor.
RE:SOURCES
- Cavanaugh, J P; 2014. “QOTD: How Would You Have Saved the Ambassador?” Curbside Classic. Posted Feb. 17; accessed Feb. 22.
- Grey, Jim; 2013. “COAL: 2003 Toyota Matrix — The Red Pill.” Curbside Classic. Posted Jan. 19; accessed Feb. 22, 2014.
- Niedermeyer, Paul; 2014. “Thank You All For Your Great Car Buying Advice, But I Ignored It And Bought This Pristine 1972 Ford LTD Instead.” Curbside Classic. Posted Jan. 1; accessed Feb. 22.
- Shafer, Jason; 2013. “My Extended Family Takes a road Trip to Houston And Cut-and-Shoot, Texas.” Curbside Classic. Posted July 3; accessed Feb. 22, 2014.
BROCHURES & ADVERTISING:
- oldcarbrochures.org: Ambassador (1974)
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