AUTOMOTIVE VIEWS NEWSWIRE — It’s no accident that the Toyota Sienna minivan stands out from the crowd when it comes to styling. Disturbed by declining sales, the automaker decided to give it the “sci-fi” look. And who better to help Toyota do that than an out-of-this-world designer?
The Sienna’s styling was outsourced to a consultant from the planet Uranus. Spingti Sezwhat was hired partly because his designs wowed Toyota management, but they were also impressed because he has three eyes and four hands, which allow him to work 43.7 percent faster than a human designer.
In addition, Sezwhat’s per-hour rate was half as much as Toyota’s lowest-cost design studio, which is located on a pig farm in rural Paraguay.
“This was a win-win-win decision,” said Toyota design head Simon D. Says. “The Sienna opens the door to a whole new way of designing Toyotas.”
Sienna reflects a ‘cross-cultural sensibility’
Management decided that it needed to challenge the reputation of minivans as dull people movers. Toyota instead sought to give the Sienna the look of a spacecraft that “explores new worlds, seeks out new life and goes where no housewife has gone before noon,” according to marketing materials.
“Spingti’s work on intergalactic transport was a natural fit with this project,” said Says. “He also brought a cross-cultural sensibility.” The pinched look of the Sienna’s rear reflects a highly popular aesthetic on Uranus.
Toyota executives were largely pleased with Sezwhat’s design direction but made a number of minor changes. As a case in point, one of his ideas was to embed whoopee cushions in the front seats. This is a hallmark of Uranus culture, but the feature did not test well with target Sienna buyers.
“The most positive responses were from those who were too young to buy a Sienna,” said Says. “So we included the enhanced cushions only on second- and third-row seats as part of the optional Family Entertainment Package.”
Former BMW head designer Chris Bagel lauded the Sienna’s design, calling it “a breath of fresh air in a market segment that has become stale.”
Sezwhat’s mother was less impressed. “I wish he would get a real job,” said Astraea Sezwhat. “Why is he helping the Earthlings stink up their planet?”
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Yes, this article is satire but the sad reality is that there were/are senior leaders of Toyota that approved this thinking it was great work. Unfortunately Toyota only does truly good design work sporadically, at best. Don’t blame the studio designers as they are just doing what management wants to approve.
I agree. As a case in point, I think that the new Prius is much improved over the overamped design of its predecessor.
We previously owned a 2005 Sienna minivan. Great vehicle. Moved onto a Highlander XE Hybrid in 2017. Not as spacious as the Sienna, but the better mileage was well worth it having transported two kids to and from two different colleges over the past 6 years. Would have considered a new Sienna but in 2017 a hybrid version wasn’t available. As for looks, I prefer the pedestrian look of the earlier generation. A Sienna isn’t a sports car and never will be; Honda proved that with its redesign of its minivan prior to the Sienna redesign.
I think the BMW designer is Chris Bangle. Heis infamous for “Bangle Butt” BMW’s. Actually they look OK now.
The spelling I used was intentional.
Bangle has not been with BMW since 2009.
My car received this kind of styling treatment when it got hit by a truck back in 2018. The dents on the door skins and below the taillight were eerily similar.
I am guessing that most of “Indie Auto”‘s readers are too young to remember a bore-ass movie (first shown on college campuses in 1970 on two-inch-video tape…before cassettes…then released in theaters, but only briefly in 1974) “The Groove Tube”, starring Ken Shapiro, Richard Belzer and Chevy Chase. The next to the last pseudo-commercial was for a product called “Brown 25”, manufactured by The Uranus Corporation, (as the tag-line stated) “because at Uranus, things come out a little differently !” This may account for the increasingly bizarre Toyota styling.