What happens when an alpha male test drives a Tesla Cybertruck

2023 Tesla Cybertruck

What happens when an avowed alpha male rents a Tesla Cybertruck for the day? I would invite you to find out, because Drew Magary’s (2024) story in SFGate strikes me as quite funny — and surprisingly astute for a reporter who does not typically cover the automobile industry.

Magary (2024) thought that he perfectly fit the customer profile of a Cybertruck owner. “I am tall. I am white. I am loud. I don’t really have many friends where I live. Most important, I desperately want people to think I’m cool. You can see my thirst from the f—king moon, so why not drive an equally conspicuous truck?”

So that he did. His first reaction to viewing the car in the flesh was it was as ugly as in the pictures. “This car is all hard angles and even harder steel, with exterior panels that are often off in alignment.”

2023 Tesla Cybertruck

The interior of the Cybertruck struck Magary (2024) as barren. “Tactile pleasures were nonexistent. No buttons. No switches. I felt like I was driving around in an unfurnished apartment.” He was surprised that the driver’s seat was actually comfortable rather than “covered in iron spikes.”

Also see ‘Is Tesla Cybertruck a brilliant breakthrough or a gimmick?’

Learning how to use the touchscreen controls to make the air-conditioned seats work proved to be daunting. “Once I did, though, I got a satisfyingly cool breeze right up my asscrack,” Magary (2024) wrote. “The air conditioning in this car does not f—k around.”

2023 Tesla Cybertruck

Magary (2024) also found that the Cybertruck really delivered in making him stand out in a crowd. “I got attention. So much attention — and in a wide variety of flavors! Children stopped and pointed. Strangers gave me the finger.”

Read the rest of Magary’s column here for all of his wondrous discoveries about the Cybertruck.

2023 Tesla Cybertruck front quarter

So how is the Cybertruck doing in the marketplace?

According to Cox Automotive, sales have grown to the point where the Tesla overtook the Ford F-150 Lightning as the best-selling electric truck in the second quarter of 2024 (Kothari, 2024). In addition, the average sale price for the Cybertruck was a stratospheric $108,667 in May (Cox Automotive, 2024).

Suvrat Kothari (2024) argued that “demand isn’t really a problem” for the Cybertruck because reservations for it had reached two million back in 2023.

2023 Tesla Cybertruck

Fred Lambert (2024) hedged his bets on the Cybertruck’s sales potential. “It will be interesting to see how it fairs (sic) once production is ramped up and it works through its backlog,” he wrote.

“On the other side, there is starting to be some interesting competition, especially the Silverado EV, which is arguably a better value than the Cybertruck,” Lambert (2024) wrote. “If GM can ramp up production, it could be competitive.”

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1 Comment

  1. It is worse than foolish to count that some 2 mil of orders means real commitments. Those can vanish in a moment unless there is serious non-refundable money at stake.

    The Cybertruck is downright ugly. Tried way, way too hard to be different just for the sake of difference. Emporer’s new clothes comes to mind.

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